How to Survive a Hurricane

1.  Pray.

2.  Fill your gas tank up with gas the very first time "Hurricane" is mentioned on the news.  (This means you need to visit the gas station daily from April to November.)

3.  Fill your bathtubs with water.  It can be used to flush toilets (eeew!) or after boiling, to drink (EEEEW!)

4.  Keep your pantry stocked with food.  Because the day before it hits, you'll only be able to find sardines and canned spinach in the store.

5.  Fill your freezer up with ice in case the power goes out.  Eat all ice-cream, yogurt, cheese, milk, meat and leftovers the night before the storm hits.  This is a risky proposition because the hurricane might miss you.  But which is more important- a few extra pounds or getting your money's worth of food eaten?  C'mon.

6.  Prepare an interior room with no windows for evacuation during hurricane.

7.  Prepare different interior room since first choice was the bathroom (gross).

8.  Prepare 3rd choice since Jason's closet is too small.

9.  Prepare 4th choice because underneath the stairs has too much junk to move.

10.  Tell everyone "We're-camping-in-Mom's-closet-deal-with-it!"

11.  Make a list of all the things you wished you had thought to buy and didn't- a generator, C-sized batteries, tarps, wood for windows, candy, etc.

12.  Pray some more.