Welcome to the Welker Zoo: A Cautionary Tale

by Lucy Welker

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess and her best friend was a pink dragon. The dragon was a girl. They played together. They had fun at Chuck E. Cheese's.

But then, the evil Mom came.

But then, she exploded.

The End

Funny Things My Kids Say

(Finally- one from Emily)

There was quite the discussion on what we could have for treats during Family Home Evening- ice-cream shakes or chocolate cows. Emily came up with the solution. She told Tyler, "You can have a shake, and I can have a cow!"

Lucy just walked in with one of her stuffed dogs. She says his name is "Doggy Doo."

At scriptures tonight, Randy was actually participating. I was starting to see the tell-tale signs we were losing him. In an effort to engage him in what we were reading, we had the following discussion.

Me: (referring to Matt. 11:5) Randy, what does "deaf" mean?

Randy: (stuttering and stammering) Uh, not able to hear.

Me: What does "blind" mean?

Randy: Not able to see.

Me: And what does "lame" mean?

Randy: (no hesitation) Not able to be funny.

Bullet chewed up one of Lucy's toys- something from a Happy Meal that she never played with. Later, I found her sitting on the couch, cuddled in a blanket, still weeping. "Do you know why I brought my blanket downstairs?" she asked. "To catch my sadness," she said, as she wiped her face.

At church, our primary was practicing for their Sacrament Meeting. At one point, Randy sneezed and stood up for a Kleenex. As he was blowing his nose, he leaned over to our first counselor and whispered something in her ear. She started to laugh and then mouthed to me, "I'll tell you after." She told me that Randy had said, "There's too much singing. I think I'm allergic to music."

"LUCY! Don't change it to chimpanzee!" ~Randy, chastising his sister for changing the language setting on his Nintendo DS to Japanese.

"Mom is always right. Sometimes." ~Tyler

It's that dreaded time of the year again- fundraiser time. This year it's frozen cookie dough. Therefore, Cookie Monster is making appearances at the school. He was greeting kids as we dropped them off this morning. Lucy was so excited to say hi and that Cookie acknowledged her with a special wave. As we were driving away, Lucy looked back, sighed and said, "Wow, I've never seen Cookie Monster in the wild."

Welcome to the Welker Zoo

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Cautionary Tale

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